| Secret Wishes |
[25 Nov 2009|04:44pm] |
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 calm |
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music |
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Jonas Armstrong reading a CBeebies bedtime story |
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I have a secret wish.
I know you're not supposed to say it out loud, lest you jinx it.
But I have a secret wish.
It lies quietly in my heart, a secret stash of hope.
Always there, quiet and observing.
A secret wish.
Let it grow. Let it grow.
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| Woe |
[23 Nov 2009|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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I am so sad.
And I miss you so.
My heart aches.
I sound like a sappy old record.
But its the god damn truth.
I can't breathe.
I really can't breathe.
Move. Forward.
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| Mirror Images of A Decade Gone By |
[21 Nov 2009|01:17pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Bad Romance by Lady Gaga |
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I thought you were supposed to be there for support.
To be there to catch me when I fall.
To tell me to go after my dreams.
Instead, you just want to avoid the fall altogether.
So you bind my wings, and not allow me to fly.
And tell me its all the better this way.
A part of me wishes to hate you for this.
But I can't.
Because at the end of the day, I still wish to make you proud.
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| Primary 7. Now thats a thought. |
[11 Nov 2009|03:30pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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I know I've said this a whole lot of times on this blog, but honestly,
You guys rock my world. =)
Thanks so much for the wonderful Sunday.
An impromptu concert.
A surprise comic shopping spree. (OMG YOU GUYS HAVE MY HEART ALL WRAPPED UP IN CRINKLY PINK PAPER.)
And home baked lasagne and teh awesomest sandwiches ever, because they have no vegetables in them. =)
Nearly ten years of friendship yo. Here's to more to come!!!
Photoshoot anyone?
And yes, Im uploading the photos. My wifey wants her photos with a certain someone. I can tell. *whistles*
=P
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| A question, care to answer? |
[09 Nov 2009|05:42pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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the rain |
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Greetings one and all!
Here's a question to everyone, if you have an opinion, feel free to leave a comment.
A friend of mine just told me her theory.
That if a relationship already has its ups and downs during the courting stage, its just downhill from there, if things get really serious.
I have my own views on this, but what say you?
If a relationship starts out rocky, is it all downhill from there, and you should just get out of it fast?
=)
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| Neil Gaiman Love |
[02 Nov 2009|12:05pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Coin Operated Doll by The Dresden Dolls |
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Yesterday was the day I was within 100 metres of the Genius that is Neil Gaiman.
Spent the morning watching Coraline with Teh Boyfriend. I really have to work on my punctuality schtick. I think I grovelled a bit to Teh Boyfriend cuz I was late. But at least we made the movie right on time. Right? RIGHT?!
=P
Anyhoo, we both agree that Coraline isnt for kids. I got a bit freaked out sometimes by the animation. No spoilers here, but go catch it seriously. Especially if you're a fan of movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Then we went off to catch Neil Gaiman over at Victoria Theatre. That place was packed to the brim, it was scary. But oh. OH! He is everything I imagine him to be and more. He sounds like a watered down version of Snape, and he's hilarious. Although he looked terribly tired yesterday..
Didnt get my book signed in the end. The queue was just too long. But I'm happy. =) Neil Gaiman. You are my literary love.
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| OMG I'm an adult. |
[26 Oct 2009|11:47am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls |
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Yes, I'm 21.
Somehow, I don't feel any different.
I guess it'll kick in when the responsibilities start streaming in.
Im spending the day at work. Friends and family are busy, plus Teh Boyfriend is away at camp. Weekends will be set aside to fully celebrate with loved ones as I come of age. =D
I wanted to go to the zoo though, just because. Teh Boyfriend pretty much detests going to any Singapore touristy place. But he was sweet enough to bring me there yesterday, despite being terribly tired from camp and random allergies and the imminent flu bug. So Teh Boyfriend, you win major brownie points. =D And I love you so.
And I got free Ben & Jerry's. SCORE!
I should count my blessings.
At 21, I'm a working class woman, earning my keep, and contributing to my family.
I have a full time job that I love and adore, despite its hectic schedule and manic days.
I have family who, despite everything I've done and caused, still love me. A father who really does care about and loves his daughter. A mother who's my best friend, my confidant, and my counsellor. Brothers who can drive me crazy one moment, and laugh my heart out the next. A sister who's like my baby sometimes. And my cousin who I consider my big brother half the time.
I have friends who care about me, and who I know have my back when the times get really tough. My close knit of secondary friends, from my wifey to Jihan to Farah to all them lovely boys. My poly mates. Pika. Moon. Abang Razin. Close colleagues at work. And other people who've made a difference in my life just by being there. =)
I have a wonderful boyfriend who has done so much for me, and continues to be there for me when I'm at best, and most importantly, at my worst. Who can actually say I look beautiful when I'm sniffling away with puffy red eyes and a bloated face. *laughs* Love you P*****s. =P
Good times, bad times, just keep them rolling yo. At the end of all things, everything turns out all right. =)
Loves to all!
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| Make me happy |
[24 Oct 2009|03:25pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
] |
I feel them old emotions of despair just within the horizon.
Go away, go away.
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| Can I have an Alexander Skasgard doll for my bday? >D |
[22 Oct 2009|11:33am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Flowers in the Window by Travis |
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12 hour work days are starting to wear me down.
Can I just say I strongly dislike NS for taking away my colleague(s) namely Teh Devil Himself, to do their reservice training, cuz then its up to me and Rachel to cover work that we have almost no clue as to how to do, on top of our normal day to day piles of work.
And yes, in case nobody's in on it yet, Rachel Monkman is working with me now. Good to have ya on board babe. =)
Back to me complaining about 12 hour work days.
They suck.
Surprise phone calls from Teh Boyfriend stuck in camp are a great pick me up at the end of a busy day though. *nods*
In other news, everywhere I go, people seem to be in some form of relationship dilemma. People break up, insercurities surface, fights abound, people make horrible mistakes, lies and cheats occur, stemming from the most ridiculous reasons.. Its slightly disheartening.
Sometimes it gets to me as well. I start analysing and micro managing my own relationship, wondering what I'd do if something like this happens, or that happens, and I work myself up into a frenzy that has no basis in fact. Its just me allowing myself to go on an emotional rollercoaster of my own making.
And thats stupid. Honestly, its stupid.
No two relationships are the same. Its your own relationship, with your own set of problems, your own set of insecurities, and your own set of attitudes, and your own unique way on how you handle the problems you face.
Sure, there are similarities.
But at the end of the day, its your own relationship. And no one else's.
I think the trick is to just not let things get to you so much. There are some things you can control, and some things you just cant. For the things you cant control, just work around them, and deal, and don't beat yourself up if things don't go your way.
You can control the insecurities that you have though. Don't let them control you. (Right Zaini? *laughs*)
And have a little optimism in life.
Mind you, don't let yourself be deluded though. But it never hurts to be optimistic. =)
I'm naive in that sense, and I sure as hell have a lot to learn. But I'm not going to worry too much. =)
Just a couple of musings and reflections I guess. *laughs*
Also because I'm waiting for my lunch hour.
Back to work!
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| Teh First Ever Birthday Wishlist of Moi |
[13 Oct 2009|04:44pm] |
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 crazy |
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Greetings fellow friends. As my birthday approaches, I'm going to make it easier on my loved ones, so they wont have to rack their brain on what to get for me. =D
1. The Absolute Sandman Collention Vols 1 to 4 by Neil Gaiman
If anyone does get all four volumes for me, dude and dudette, you have a piece of my heart. FOR LIFE.
2. Absolute Death by Neil Gaiman
Pretty hardcover book on the most beautiful of the Endless. What more could a girl ask for.
3. The Books of Magic Vol 1 to 4 by Neil Gaiman
There's the John Ney Rieber version as well, but I'd rather have the ones by Neil Gaiman. John Ney Rieber's version has more than 25 issues.
4. Strangers in Paradise Vol 1 to 5 by Terry Moore
The best romance comic of the decade in my opinion. The writing is just beautiful. I <3 their poems.
5. The Alchemaster's Apprentice by Walter Moers
Its Walter Moers. Nuff' said. How can I not want to read about krats, which are like cats, but smarter? =D
Actually, any book by him will make my day. =)
6. Hellboy Library Edition Vol 2: The Chained Coffin, The Right Hand Of Doom, and Others by Mike Mignola.
Hellboy is seriously underrated. I already have Vol 1 courtesy of Teh Boyfriend. Having Vol 2 and 3 would just be freakishly amazing. =D
7. Hellboy Library Edition Vol 3: Conquerer Worm and Strange Places by Mike Mignola.
Refer to excerpt #6.
8. The Sookie Stackhouse Series Vol 1 to 8 by Charlaine Harris
Hey, I was a fan of her books WAAAAAAAAYYYYY before True Blood came out. So. Yeah.
9. An all expense paid trip to New Zealand.
I figure I'd just put that in.
10. An autographed picture from Rupert Grint.
*swoons and melts in a puddle* Omgosh, I'd die just to watch his movie Cherrybomb.
11. A song
Its my birthday, and I can ask for songs if I want to.
12. A Macbook.
*laughs* Ehehe.
13. A SGD 100.00 voucher from Kinokuniya or Absolute Comics
Lol, save yourselves the trouble from buying my comics. XD
Ok, thats it. =D If all the presents seem highly unaffordable, I'd settle for a birthday greeting via phone.
Loves to all!
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| I is wants my hips hops entertainsments. |
[13 Oct 2009|02:14pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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me a-tapping |
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There are no more tickets for the Project X by Raw Dance Project show on the 26th and 27th of October.
I am slightly depressed right now.
*sulks in a corner*
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| Suicide of the Nostrils |
[12 Oct 2009|01:53pm] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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My sniffles |
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*snores*
Or at least, I'd attempt to snore if my nose wasn't so clogged up from the darn haze. <.<
Darn nose. I want to kill you and be done with it.
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| Lullabies in the morning |
[08 Oct 2009|03:36pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Tranquilize by The Killers |
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Emotions have been riding high these past few days. Jalan Raye with Teh Friends was the highlight of my weekend. I haven't laughed that much for a long time.
Singing in the car to random songs, looking at Syafiq as he air drums and air guitars, Saiful behaving like a king because he's the Designated Driver, Zaini with his mat sunglasses that always pisses Jihan off, Wifey taking random pictures of still objects, Abbas being quiet after getting an escape from Pulau NTU...
Nothing like a day out with old time friends to lift your spirits.
I apologise for not uploading the photos though. I've been trying to since Monday, honest! but my computer doesnt upload all of them. Here I thought Facebook had a 200 photo per album limit, and I definitely have less than 200 photos. Will try again, so no worries. Teh Friends, you shall have your photos!
Teh Boyfriend is at Tekong now. Cant charge his phone, so I can't contact him. Ah well. Miss you love.
Other than that, I'm seriously PMSing. Darn cramps. Emotional outburts. Crying whilst watching random videos on Facebook. Yup, the works.
Until next time!
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| I am my own Sidhe |
[30 Sep 2009|10:35am] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Nobody by the Wonder Girls (Transformer style!) |
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I sat in my office, a long day of work had just ended.
I just had the sudden urge to buy a storybook.
So I rushed down to Borders to buy the tenth installment of The Dresden Files, Small Favor.
Gosh, I <3 Jim Butcher.
Kick ass smart alecky wizard, a talking skull with a penchant for romance flicks and hardcore porn, a vampire brother who works in a hair salon to try to curb his desires, vampire courts, fairy courts, bloodshed, angels, seraphim....
<3
Wondering whether I should start reading Codex Alera though. I'm rather behind on The Sookie Stackhouse Series. There's a ton of fantasy books I want to read, just because.
Still waiting for Walter Moers latest book to come to Singapore. Should I order it off Amazon? Terribly tempted.
Shall sleep on it.
In other news, its set to be a packed weekend. Just a few more days before Teh Boyfriend goes off to Tekong though, till end of November. *sighs*
Well, a million girls out there have gone through it and survived. I will too. *nods*
Loves to all! =)
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| Iron Clad curfews of the 21st Century |
[25 Sep 2009|10:05am] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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I dont even know where to begin.
What my parents want of me.
Be back straight home after work.
Dont meet up with your friends after work. You can always meet up during the weekends.
Help out your siblings with your homework.
If you really have to work that late, must get out of the office by 9pm. You're working at a dodgy area now, a girl shouldnt be out that late at night by herself.
Be back home by 8pm.
No movies after work.
Basically, the routine must be home, go work, come back straight home.
If you're at a company party, curfew is at 12 midnight.
Tell your parents where you're going, even if you end up getting scolded for it.
If I do otherwise, I have no discipline. Im letting go of all that I've been taught. I become tired out, my mental faculties become slower because I'm tired, thus I wont be able to perform properly when I'm at work.
When I tell them where I'm going with my friends, I get nagged at, or scolded. Because I'm going against the rules that they've set.
Is it any wonder honestly that nowadays I hardly bother to tell them if I'm going to meet my friends for a quick bite to eat? Or as they like to term it, wander around? As long as I reach home by like 10pm, I'll take whatever naggings come my way.
I want to tell them where I'm going. That I'll be here, at this time, at this place. I hate hiding all this nonsense from them.
But goddammit.
Do I go out clubbing? No.
Do I go out partying late at night into the wee hours of the morning? No.
I came back home at 1am during that Singapore Idol thing. I will never hear the end of that for a very long time. Thats considered partying. I dont know how to organise my time.
Suppers are out of the question. A movie at night is totally out of the question. Leave that for the weekend.
Hah, I dont even want to bring up the matter that hey, I wouldnt mind travelling to another country, just to go across the damn causeway for a weekend trip.
Their reason? They give me some leeway, I keep on wanting more. So they dont want to.
If I rant this out to my parents, all they see is the mindless rants of a rebellious child. Which is the last thing I want them to see me as.
As you can tell, I'm highly frustrated.
On the one hand, a little freedom would be nice. I envy those who have parents who they can actually tell that they're going over to a friend's place or actually go out to have supper with their friends, and not have their parents constantly pushing them to be back home as soon as possible, and have said parent waiting for you in the living room like a don.
On the other hand, I understand where they're coming from. I do. This is their way letting me know of consequences that could happen before hand, before something irreversible happens. It shows that they care.
*screams*
But I'm still frustrated. Sometimes I wish I were a guy instead. Maybe then they'd be more trusting of me. Because I'm a girl, I have that much more to lose.
So, whenever somebody tells me that I'm a nice person, good manners, yada yada yada, I feel like telling them that they should have a talk with my parents. All they seem to keep on telling me is that I have forgotten what I have been taught, and that I'm already on the path of no good, and that I'm not mentally strong, I'm not emotionally strong, I'm not strong, period. Might give them the other side of me, that my parents only seem to see.
I guess its their way of pushing me to be stronger. To always keep on pushing myself to be better. To take what comes my way, good and bad, and to overcome whatever obstacles. Life is a balance. You do not retaliate in anger. You do not become emotional when it comes to this kind of thing. You have a mind, you think. Emotions are good and all, but like Zaini said in a recent post, you control the situation, not the other way around.
They want me to be a leader, not a follower. All they seem to see is that I follow whatever my friends say, without any input of my own.
I can't always be angry with my parents in terms of this curfew. I dont understand what they're going through because I'm not a parent yet. I keep on telling myself that they're just worried about me. They see me growing up, and I know my mum thinks that I'll become this careless girl that doesnt care about the consequences of her actions if I'm not careful. My past actions have not exactly been right I guess.
There are some mistakes that can never be made. They just dont want me to make those mistakes.
There is a part of me that understands now why there are people out there who get married, partly to escape the rules and clutches of their family. It isnt right, to use marriage as an escape. But now I can see why there are those who do it.
Its funny. More than anything, I want to prove to my parents that I'm an adult. To show them that I'm growing up. To be responsible for my actions. To know that I can be trusted.
They're right though, in a sense. I have a tendency to not care about time. I get carried away by that, whether I'm at work or out with my friends. And I am stubborn.
But I feel so stifled. I do not wish to just rebel against this. Its immature. And it has consequences, I know it.
At the end of the day, things will work out. Life is never easy. But we tough it out. And enjoy what we can along the way.
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| Waterfall splashing in the middle of the night |
[24 Sep 2009|11:28am] |
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content |
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music |
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Vanilla Twilight by Owl City |
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Half forgotten wishes that I used to dream about as a child.
You know the kind. When you read all those teenage romances as a child, or watched teenage skewed dramas, and wondered whether you'd have the chance to experience them as well.
A walk through the park, hand in hand with your loved one.
Sharing a kiss atop a ferris wheel.
Running in the rain hand in hand.
Highly sentimental and mushy moments, but you were young, you did wonder. If you'd ever experience it.
And then you grew up, and you started thinking that such moments dont exist. We must be practical. Love can be found in the simple things.
Magical moments exist. And they find you when you least expect it.
I am content. =)
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| Weird trains of thoughts |
[23 Sep 2009|11:25am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Best of You by Foo Fighters |
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Other Quotes That Needs Remembering
Thats me in a nutshell. Nut. Shell. Nuts. Peanuts. Balls.
You're an idiot. But a lovable idiot nonetheless.
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| Rainy Weather Tummy Pains |
[18 Sep 2009|03:23pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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Is it just me, or has this week just been hectic?
Quote of the day:
I dont have a one track mind. I have an F1 track mind.
Its a redundant quote. But it made me laugh.
Oh, and I find the term 'lady pains' extremely posh when explaining what we girls have to go through. =P
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| Koala Bear Delights |
[17 Sep 2009|10:32am] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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The Saltwater Room by Owl City |
] |
Thats it.
I'm going to NAIL this SAP system.
You hear me, you irritating technical moolah related system?!?!
I'm going to NAIL YOU!
*breathes*
The way I look at this, its a new learning experience. Throw me into the boiling vat of lava, and just see whether I can survive.
Well, I'm going to nail. I will.
Jyuneen's all geared up, and she is raring to go. Just give me, two months. Max. I'll have this down pat.
Right, enough of me being my own personal cheerleader.
Note to readers who actually do read this: The next couple of paras are going to be mushy. See lar Wifey & Mr. P., you've started a chain reaction. *laughs*
Sometimes, I really am the stupidest person in the whole entire universe. I had to get severely reprimanded from Teh Boyfriend before I realised how silly I've been acting. I get caught up with things that have happened in the past, that I forget to see whats right in front of me, and to treasure and appreciate what I have. I get defensive, and I start giving out threats, which really stems from insecurities and fears that I hold deep within.
What I never realised was that by doing so, I was just further pushing him away, which is the last thing that I want to do.
I also realised that I hardly ever blog about Teh Boyfriend. Part of it I think is because I'm essentially a very private person. But what the heck.
I dont know why I fell for him. I still dont. I just did. He can be the most irritating person on the face of this Earth, and the most sweetest, loving person that I've ever come across.
He looks good both in his glasses, and when he's without, which reminds me of Clark Kent/Superman. In certain angles, he looks pretty good too. He has carpet hair, which tickles me to no end. But his hands fit mine perfectly, and when he holds me, I know I'm safe.
He's never given me a single flower, and I vaguely remember that the only chocolate he's given me were Tim Tams. He's not the type of person to buy me presents, or gifts to mark an anniversary. Hmm, I dont think we've ever had a proper date either. The first movie we ever watched was a documentary on that rapper that died.
But I have four songs to my name. We had a wonderful adventure in the Arts Museum, that I'll always remember. Even though half the time I was scared out of my mind. *laughs* He makes the effort to go out of the way to walk me back home when he can, even though he's tired out from camp. My curfew irritates him to no end, but he respects it. Sometimes, he worries more about my curfew than I do.
He puts up with my nonsense, from the childish to the bitchy to the random silly outbursts. He listens to what I have to say, and is sensitive to my needs, which I find astounding. Usually people can't tell what Im feeling, but he can pretty much read me like an open book. He thrashed through my walls, and I dont even know how he did it.
Honestly, its been something straight out of a soap opera. Parental objections from both sides, accidents, hospital visitations, past demons coming back, best friend issues, personal issues, competitions, army...the list goes on. But we're surviving all right. =) We're actually doing quite well now, all things considered.
Army takes him away now, and I'm dreading the six weeks where I won't be able to see him. But its just two more months before he ORDs, so its not that long before he gets his freedom. =)
Its been about six months, and honestly, I've been on the rollercoaster of my life. The ups and downs, twists and turns just keep on coming. I actually would like some quiet time, just the both of us, without any external drama. *laughs*
I do believe Teh Boyfriend is pretty darn awesome, and the sweetest boy I know. We've still got a really long way to go, and I dont know whats going to happen. But I'm happy that I'm with him, and thats all there is to it.
He hardly ever reads my blog by the by, so its not like he's going to read this. *laughs* But for the first time in my life, I'm in love. And I wouldnt trade any of the experiences I've had with him for anything else in the world.
So, here's to us. Sunshine days ahead, weathering out the storms together, and just being there for each other. Its all good my love. =)
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| REJOICE! |
[16 Sep 2009|01:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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me humming tunelessly |
] |
My mum finally acknowledged that I'm dating Ben.
*dances around madly, gladly, and in tune to some random beat*
FINALLY!
Oh, happy days ahead.
At least until that institution whereby all male Singaporeans 18 years old and beyond have to undergo decide to let him go. December come quick. x_x
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